EMBARRASSMENT

    Embarrassment, hmmmm, such a familiar feeling. Embarrassment in the social context, especially when it comes to people in their something teens and twenties, is a killer; the fear of being shamed or being perceived is a poison that has slowly but surely embedded itself into the teenage social environment. It's gotten to the point where being bold and creative enough to step out of the imaginary boundaries that have been created for you is seen as either crazy or cringe. Wanting something and going after it is now shameful

    I often hear the saying which says "to be cringe is to be free", but when you're in your something teens, it's really difficult to not let the pressure of sameness get to you. Even trying to be individualistic in a world full of xeroxes of one person is seen as uncool; people tend to overlook how nerve-wracking it is to put yourself out there. I remember being 13 and posting my first cover on my first TikTok account, and by some streak of luck or bad luck, as some may say, the video appeared on the for you page of a classmate, and he downloaded it and shared it, and I kinda went viral at the school(said video now sits at about 1500 likes). Although the video was doing well, I didn't feel like a winner and wasn't proud of it coz the video was being consumed locally and didn't reach the target audience [ to be fair, I really wasn't after a target audience at thirteen]

    Back then, I ensured nobody knew how I felt about it by turning my shell bulletproof, but making said shell bulletproof didn't make it soundproof[and trust their words shot to kill]. Acting smug and unaffected on the outside didn't make me feel better or lighter, and now, reflecting on it, I wonder if it's possible to not feel affected by the outside noise and if it's possible to actually not be afraid of being labelled "cringy"

IS ANYONE A HUNDRED PERCENT FREE FROM THE SHACKLES OF EMBARRASSMENT ???? and do those who conform to the standards set for them ever want more? Is it more embarrassing to be an outcast or a suck-up? These are the questions that plague my mind.........

. As a gift for coming back, here's the first draft of a song I wrote called The Knife. wrote this version and recorded it in BandLab on my first day using the app,
So give me some grace. Couldn't do an acoustic really coz it's more upbeat. Hopefully you enjoy this, but next time it'll be an acoustic video, I promise. Tell me what you think about it.

Thank you for coming back for the second episode. I promise that for the next one we're pivoting and talking about something juicy [hopefully you find it juicy; I just might be boring]

byeeeeeeee